


they'll know my name (i shall rise)

by dankobah



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dark Reylo, F/M, Fix-It, Kisses, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, a boy finding his place in the world, a girl finding herself and her sexuality, daring rescues, im fixing the entire thing to what i wanted the movie to be, so get ready for, wild space battles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:13:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21921982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dankobah/pseuds/dankobah
Summary: 💜💜💜 THE FOLLOWING SUMMARY CONTAINS SPOILERS FORTHE RISE OF SKYWALKER.💜💜💜Sometimes a girl goes dark.  There’s no one to blame, but the girls that go dark are in a lot of pain.  Soul sucking type pain, deep in her belly and leaving her rotting and hollow if she does not act upon it.Boys go dark too.  Volatile, scary, lashing out with a lightsaber and gnashing teeth.  They also experience pain, dealing with it in different ways.There has been no light in Rey ever since she agreed to train withhim.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 60
Kudos: 137
Collections: TROS Reylo Fix-it Fics, The Rise of Skywalker: Fix-It Fic Edition





	1. this time i keep away from you

She's been having dreams about him.

Rey always dreams vivid little things with too much color and not much sense. Regularly, she dreams of a ship flying away from her; it's boosters getting ready for the jump to lightspeed. Just when they glow blue is when the ship explodes, a scream echoing through the desert where she's been left to die.

This dream is different, sinister and containing the Supreme Leader of the First Order in her bed. His dark hair in his face, his bare chest is glistening with massage oil that also coats her palms. The room smells of sweet and aromatic millaflower that tranquilizes the moment, the walls made of stone along with the floor. The bed they laze in is luxe, draped in elegant reds, and golds.

But blood also slicks her hands and gushes from the wound open on his neck. A dagger falls from her grip, and she looks at the red spraying across the same crimson sheets as he clutches at his throat. Grapes fall from his hands, and she trembles as he reaches for her.

_It's not real, none of this is real-_

"I'll...find you...scavenger. You and your pathetic Resistance." He manages to cough out, blood dribbling down his face and throat. She hasn't dreamed about Kylo Ren in months; he hasn't traipsed his way into her nighttime thoughts. 

This is a fluke.

She shouts, "You're not real!" 

An unidentifiable voice comes out of his mouth, older and chilling her blood, "But I am, girl. I'm very real."

Then Kylo's teeth turn to bloody fangs, and his eyes go entirely black, and Rey sits up, shrieking for dear life. It feels as if she doesn't wake up, almost as if she's been yanked abruptly from her dream space and into the real world. It makes bile come up and get hand clamp over her mouth as she doubles over with her head in between her knees.

The covers are on her floor, and because it's hot on Ajan Kloss, she's down to her underclothes consisting of a tight-fitting bra and white high waisted briefs that are Resistance standard.

But the one thing that makes her hesitate for a very long time on looking up from her sheets is the fact that no sound graces her ears. 

_This can't be, we haven't in months-_

Kylo Ren stands in the corner of her room, and Rey lunges for her lightsaber despite her wooziness. Igniting it, she hops to her feet and points it at him. He's smacking his lips from sleep or boredom but looks her up and down as if she's a ghost. "Scavenger."

She snaps, "You know my name, Supreme Leader." 

"I would need a redeemable reason to use it. Does my enemy require a more significant title to me?" She wants to spit, but that would be rather undignified for the poster child of the Resistance, especially in the presence of such an esteemed enemy.

"Why are you dreaming of me if you didn't take my hand-"

Rey holds the lightsaber to his throat, knowing full well a slash would harm him through the bond, "If you watched all of it, you would've seen me kill you."

"Ah, I didn't see all of it. All I remember was you rubbing my chest with massage oil." Rey scowls and lowers her saber, looking back towards her clothes hanging out of the pack she hasn't bothered to unpack after the latest mission with Rose and Finn.

"It was quite a sight for sore eyes." 

She growls under her breath, "Can't you just disappear?"

Kylo Ren, who she now notices, is wearing only onyx briefs, laughs at her. She's ready to hiss and throw hands but resists to sulk and sit on the bed to stare at him. Maybe if she does it long enough, he'll wisp away. 

Though does she want him to when he looks like that? Something inside stirs, and she ignores it in opt for glaring at him. "Bonds can't be broken unless one of us dies." Surprisingly, he gets closer. His body is impressively toned like her dream, chest thick with muscle, and looking pillowy.

"That's why you should've taken my hand. I would've fed you grapes in our palace when the First Order wins the war."

She scoffs, "Mighty cocky."

"Face it. Your Resistance is set to die. You won't be spared when it does."

"Is that a promise, Ben?"

That gets him to pause, mouth opening just to shut. 

Then, "If I have anything to say about it." Like that, he pops out of existence and leaves her alone in the tiny quarters she calls home. A sigh racks her lungs, and she gets off the bed. She figures she could practice lightsaber forms this early.

But with a voice set to haunt her all day, she's bound to begin losing her grip on everything.

* * *

Palpatine’s return is impossible, but he doesn’t dare say it out loud.

Kylo doesn't bother with his mask as they sit around the war room table late in the ship's cycle thanks to Rey's bond with him. He shows his dark circles proudly to General Pryde and Hux but keeps modestly covered in a tunic and pants. The two men wouldn't care about his warrior's physique.

Hux sputters, "The message can't be Palpatine. It's simply impossible." 

Something inside Kylo Ren knows, deep down, he knows that this is the muscle and manpower the First Order needs. Even if this person who transmitted it could be pretending.

"He wants me to find a Wayfinder to take me to the planet Exegol." Kylo twirls a cartographer's protractor before letting it clatter onto the table and rising. Instinct takes over his blood, running hot and fast as his mind races with all political possibilities.

What would his mother never dare to do with her resistance?

"I'm taking troops to Mustafar. There are three wayfinders, and I intend to find all of them before the Resistance can even think to." Hux watches him with wide eyes, and there's fear rippling through the Force. It's good that the ginger fears him, Kylo isn’t looking to be friends with him.

"Have you seen their latest propaganda? They put the Jedi on it." Kylo scowls but then slates his face to reveal absolutely nothing.

"Their propaganda doesn't matter when no one in the galaxy will bother to help them. They're bantha fodder by the time we're finished with them." He begins to pace, and Pryde tracks him with his fish-like gaze.

"Ready my knights, we'll be leaving within the day." With that, Kylo walks out of the war room and storms down the hall. 

The race for the wayfinders is on, and he intends to win.

* * *

The jungle surrounding her is balmy on her skin, but she can’t see. A helmet shades her eyes, live lightsaber in her grip as she feels through the force for the whirring machine.

A shot fires, and she blocks it, beginning to run alongside it. Another shot fires and she swings her saber, ducking down and continuing her run as her feet hit the thin rod she’s using to balance across a rushing river. The water below is at least warm, so the risk of falling isn't like plunging into ice.

Balancing on the pole, several shots fire, and she dodges as she runs off the pole. The saber twirls in her hand, hitting blaster shots away from her as she keeps pushing. The sound dies in her ears, and she yells, “Not now!”

With her awareness gone, a blaster shot hits her in the arm. With the machine set to stun, it sends shooting sparks up her arm to make her cry out in sheer pain. The unidentifiable voice comes back, “Channel it, girl. Be who you were meant to be.”

Ripping off the helmet, she looks around the now loud jungle, at the vines and twigs crunching beneath her feet. There is no one there, and her chest heaves as she blinks slow, then dropping the helmet that takes away her sight. The world goes silent again as soon as she does, and she focuses on closing her eyes this time and breathing with the force’s spotty connection.

She asks, out loud, “Who am I meant to be?”

_Maybe there won’t be an answer; maybe this is all her imagination-_

“Come to Exegol to find out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i needed to fix it, come on this journey with me. leave a comment for what you wanted to see in tros, im always looking for fresh storylines from the people who actually understand them. thoughts and feelings are welcome @ [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah) and [tumblr](https://dankobah.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> work title is inspired by ["i shall rise" by karen o](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkxMa6WXK6g) and chapter title is inspired by ["lessons" by sohn](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_NoNYlAszc).
> 
> the list  
> [millaflower](https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Millaflower)  
> [the playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4F6XDPpWK9JviiaxDn4r8E?si=HMKfUiydQOu-ZZ71NfhfJQ)


	2. my premonition of the world comes to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe glares at Rey and storms from the room, and she sucks in a deep breath and holds it to center herself as everyone clears the room. Rey even shuts her eyes until she’s just left with Leia and the door slams.
> 
> “Tea?”
> 
> “I don’t think so.” Rey plops down across from her desk and the battle-worn and weary slumps down across from her. The war has been getting to her, along with Han’s death. Rey wants to do something, wants to say anything, but the woman seems to have heard every condolence in the book. 
> 
> **“Leia, I-I...I’ve been hearing a voice.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags:  
> palpatine  
> flirty force users  
> mention of injury to a character

The thing is, Rey doesn’t even consider the possibility of not rushing to Leia.

The older woman is busy in her office, about to yell when Rey bursts in despite other commanders and soldiers trying to hold her back. The walls are paneled in glass, soundproof to prevent other ears from listening to secret war efforts.

“Leia, if I could speak with you.”

Leia’s mouth shuts. Everyone else in the room stares at Rey, holding datapads and looking at a holo of a hooded man set up on her desk. "Alone, preferably." There's no way she wants the Resistance to know she hears voices, Leia has barely grasped that Rey has a bond with her son. That had come out when she had been drunk and in tears, clutching her head and whimpering in her lap about how Kylo kept torturing her. She saw his dreams at that point, scary things with violence, and too much blood to comprehend.

Poe stares Rey down, and Leia swallows. “Yes, of course. Everyone out.”

“But General Organa-”

“That’s an order, Dameron.”

Poe glares at Rey and storms from the room, and she sucks in a deep breath and holds it to center herself as everyone clears the room. Rey even shuts her eyes until she’s just left with Leia and the door slams.

“Tea?”

“I don’t think so.” Rey plops down across from her desk, and the battle-worn and weary slumps down across from her. The war has been getting to her, along with Han’s death. Rey wants to do something, wants to say anything, but the woman seems to have heard every condolence in the book. 

“Leia, I-I...I’ve been hearing a voice.”

She puts her head in her hands to avoid the woman’s concerned and terrified eyes and focuses hard on the corrugated steel floor. Leia speaks, “Can I play something for you?”

Rey nods, keeping her head down, and Leia reaches over and replays the hologram. The voice she’s been hearing jumps out, and Rey recoils, staring at the hologram of the hooded figure. “This is Emperor Palpatine. Prepare for the arrival of the Final Order in one galactic standard year.”

The title is infamous enough, but Rey could’ve sworn that Luke Skywalker had killed him. “I have left four ways to find me. Find them, my force users. Seek your destiny.”

Then the hologram fades and turns off, Leia rubbing at her eyes as Rey sits across from her and absorbs what she’s just seen. “Rey, I’m sending you to Mustafar to look for the artifact that will help us find the way to whoever is impersonating Palpatine.”

Rey can’t help but ask, “What if it’s not an impersonation?”

Leia sits back in her chair and takes a deep breath, and Rey sucks in a long gust of air to refuel her lungs. She feels as if she’s choking, having heard a voice that’s been haunting her nightmares. 

_“Go, girl. Fulfill your destiny. See the sith for who they are.”_

She shakes her head to herself while getting up, balling her hands into fists and storming towards the door. “Then, you will fight your hardest, Rey.”

Rey slams the door when she leaves, clutching the legacy lightsaber close to her as she walks through the Resistance’s hallways to get to her room. Soon enough, someone tails her. Rose skips alongside to reveal herself, putting a hand on Rey’s shoulder.

“You alright, hotshot?” Rey fucking loathes that nickname, but she’ll take it from Rose. They walk alongside each other.

"I'm fine. Leaving for another mission." Rey is already starting the mental tally of what to pack. She's never even heard of Mustafar, let alone been. 

"To where? Anyone coming with?" Rey knows that Rose has been antsy to get off base and into the fray of the fight, but this isn’t the mission for her. Rey has to go at this alone, for the preservation of her friends.

They only have one year to stop Palpatine. She has to focus. “Mustafar. It’ll be quick.” 

If she survives, that is, because something tells her deep down that she’s not the only one going. The race for Palpatine is on, and they arrive at her quarters. Rey turns to Rose, who looks worried. “Are you sure you don’t want backup?”

Rey shakes her head with a weak smile, looking at the ground, so she doesn’t burst into tears.

“I’ll be fine.”

She has to be.

* * *

He leaves for Mustafar in six galactic standard hours, and of course, he can’t sleep.

He’s been looking through the archives for any information he needs to know before touching down on the planet. So far, all he’s learned about is his grandfather’s demise into Vader, how most of his limbs were burned off in lava and how his best friend betrayed him for Padme.

Most of the galaxy agrees with this telling of events, but dead ghosts will only know the real way of how everything went. This is Palpatine’s telling of events, and any other speculation is unwelcome in such an unsteady political climate.

The sound leaves his ears, and Kylo looks up, mask set off to the side. He scrambles for it, but she speaks, “Don’t bother.”

Rey is packing, back turned to him as she does. He wants to peek at what she’s packing, where she could potentially be going. Instead, he opts to sit at his table, datapad open, and still displaying Mustafarian information. He shuts it down when she turns and looks at him, only down to her Resistance provided underwear and bra again. He can’t help but assess her body, look at the bumps, and bruises on her knees from training.

“You should’ve taken my hand.”

“Has anyone told you that a broken hologram is annoying the second loop around?” 

That’s fair. “We could be together if you had. You wouldn’t have to feel alone.”

She whips around and glares at him, storming to get in his face and stare him down. With just one ignite of his lightsaber, this problem would be gone. “With a man dreaming of killing me right now? I don’t think so, Ren.”

“Reflex, I’m sure you could forgive me when you eventually come to my side. I’d spare you, Rey.” She turns away from him, and that’s when he notices red, raised, and puffy claw marks on her spine.

“Who did that to your back?”

“Did what?” Does she deny her injuries? It looks like the little Jedi has grown to his level of self-loathing. Kylo walks closer to her, picking up the datapad and snapping a picture of the claw marks. Then he flips the pad around and shows her the hologram 3D picture.

Her eyes go wide, and she cranes her neck, trying to look at her back. The angle is impossible to see, and he tosses the datapad off to the side. He can’t help but jump to his first assumption, snark dripping from his tone, “Was he nice to you other than that?”

She yanks her lightsaber, his rightful lightsaber technically, and ignites it close to his throat. Rey holds it while her chest heaves. “Take it back.”

After a year of free sexual thoughts running through his brain, since Snoke had chastised such wants before, he can’t hold back the lewd crassness that helps give him power. The sith believes in using their sexuality as a tool, a weapon to gain more control. While he has a complicated relationship with the sith, he can agree with their views on that one point. Kylo wants to reach for her, to tug on the waistband of her underwear, and pull her close enough to smell the balmy jungle on her.

If only he could figure out where she hides because he would do so much to her at this moment. “Why would I take it back when it’s true?”

Her saber lowers, but she keeps it ignited, “I didn’t get these from anyone. I don’t know where they came from.” Fear spikes the bond, and he pities her at that moment. 

“Is someone in your head, Rey?”

She turns away from him, and he follows her across his quarters. "Who?"

"You lost the right to know when you chose your throne, Ben." He won’t accept that, and he finally grabs her shoulder, turning her around and minding the lightsaber in her grip. He stares into her eyes, and now that he has skin to skin contact, he can feel occasional zaps of electricity coming off her skin.

“You feel different. Your force signature feels-”

She vanishes at that, the opportunity to sift her head gone.

He finishes with no one there, “Electric.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i like keeping these chapters short and sweet for you guys but if you guys want longer, please tell me. thoughts and feelings are welcome @ [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah) and [tumblr](https://dankobah.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> chapter title is inspired by ["together" the xx](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoj2I6ZJLx8)


	3. please stop (you're scaring me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That makes her look back at him. He’s wearing that awful mask, veined in red. She hypothesizes that it gives him a battle advantage and also walkie capability. It’s still an ugly thing, and she wants to look upon his face and touch his hair. These urges are unwelcome and she shakes her head to herself.
> 
> “Is that...lust, I feel?”
> 
>  **She’s quick, “Kriff off.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags  
> graphic depictions of fighting, battle, and blood  
> body horror (character cries blood)

Rey’s leaving was unceremonious, because she can’t deal with any large fanfare that makes her uncomfortable or the center of attention.

Leia is awake for it, given the woman doesn’t sleep since her husband died. She sees her off with a tight hug that leaves Rey a little teary-eyed and tingly. Leia’s approval, her insistence to save Ben has stuck with her all this time. Leia doesn’t give up on people.

Rey knows she wouldn’t either, given that Ben’s presence in her thoughts and their bond keeps her up at night. Has Rey done something wrong? Why is someone so evil in her head, someone so beyond redemption?

Why does she still believe in him? Deep down, Rey wants him to be good but time after time, he’s proven her wrong. He’s dashed her hopes against rocks to bleed out.

The sound is gone, and the Millenium Falcon is still pushing through light speed. At Leia’s last-minute request, Rey allowed Chewie on board under the impression that he would only stay on the Falcon and keep circling while she looks for the wayfinder.

“Thinking of me?”

Without missing a beat or turning around from the holo chessboard, “Definitely not. Get out of my head.”

“Where are you headed?”

That makes her look back at him. He’s wearing that awful mask, veined in red. She hypothesizes that it gives him a battle advantage and also walkie capability. It’s still an ugly thing, and she wants to look upon his face and touch his hair. These urges are unwelcome and she shakes her head to herself.

“Is that...lust, I feel?”

She’s quick, “Kriff off.” 

He hums and she stands up, “Where I’m headed is none of your business. I know how much you have on my head.” Kylo had put a bounty on her head according to Leia, and all First Order sympathizers would love nothing more than to turn in the little Jedi to the Supreme Leader who’s seeking her.

“You’re right. I’ll find you soon enough, and then you’ll be mine.” She shivers at that, at the image he pushes into her head of them both sitting on a throne, clothed in black. She perches in his lap like a fine bird, hair braided in an Alderaanian way.

Rey breaks herself from the vision with a, “No.” Kylo’s hand shoots down and she glares at him.

“Haven’t you hurt me enough?”

“War hurts. And last I checked, we’re on different sides.” That hurts, but he’s correct.

“If you come to my side, I won’t hurt you anymore. I don’t...I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to feel you die.” Bile rises in her throat and her head shakes as he offers out his hand.

“You know I can’t, Kylo.” 

“Tell me where you are, I can make your pain go away.” Rey shuts her eyes, willing him to go away.

He pleads, rare, “Palpatine will kill you, you know he will. You will never be strong enough-”

The door to her quarters on the Millenium Falcon opens and the bond vanishes into a wisp of nothing. Kylo is gone, leaving Chewie in his wake and Rey one eye open. Chewie asks, “You all right?”

Understanding Chewie is a blessing in itself and she responds in shyriiwook, “I’m fine. How close are we to touching down on Mustafar?”

“Twenty minutes. Are you sure you don’t want me to come?” 

She shakes her head and offers a tight half-smile, “I’ll be fine. Just keep circling and take down anyone that shows.”

Chewie gives her a nod, then offers out his arms for a hug. He’s the only person Rey will hug beside Rose and Finn, and she takes the furry hug so gratefully you’d think it’d be her last. 

It just might be.

△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△

Kylo hates that the bond had to close right then, but it was the most convenient. 

He and his troops are thirty galactic standard minutes away from Mustafar, and he can practically feel the wayfinder in his blood and marrow. It sings a pretty song that would seduce any weak user to it, making it easy to find. Rey must be looking for the same thing, just in a different location. There are four ways to find the lost emperor, he knows he’s not the only one desperate to find one. 

Minutes tick by in his quarters as he does last armor checks, making sure his mask is fitting right. Since being broken, it’s a little finicky when tucking into his cowl and cape, and there’s not much the smith could do for that. Kylo could go without but he prefers his people to see a strong, faceless ruler that calls the shots. No one ever saw Snoke, and no one will see him. 

He exits his quarters, saber clipped on his side. Storming down the hall, stormtroopers, and officers part as he heads to the Knight’s armory. They store their weapons in a room and armor up together. Kylo never understood the comradery of getting ready for a battle with another. He’d rather fight side by side then dwell on the potentials of dying with someone else. 

The door slides open and he steps in, viewing Ap’Lek sharpening the bardiche ax head. Ushar hits his club into a padded wall, leaving a dent that pops back up. The bulbs show a full kinetite charge level and Kylo clears his throat. All the knights look to him and away from their weapons.

“They’ve detected hostile life on the planet so be prepared to kill. No mercy, spare women and children if there are any. If the men want to fight, let them.”

Trudgen hums through his helmet, fragmented from a Death Trooper, “You got it, boss.” 

Kylo rolls his eyes at the moniker but none of them can see it. Otherwise, he’d be challenged to a fight later, and no one has time for that, as much as he loves to spar with live prey. “Roll out.” Then he turns around, walking out of the armory. Kuruk follows first, being close enough to the door. He holds his blaster over his shoulder like a man with an ax about to chop wood. The actual knight with an ax, Ap’Lek, beats his handle into the ground with each step and uses it as a walking stick.

The ship fears them as they all pass in a collective group, Kylo feeling his saber bounce against his hip. They arrive at the unloading dock of the Finalizer they’re being lowered onto the planet in, shiny and red troopers surrounding them. Kylo re-outfitted the entire First Order (besides the snow divisions) in red armor to match their insignia. Kylo focuses on the door ahead, the ship dropping in altitude by the second as they touch down on Mustafar. 

“We’re getting life readings, Supreme Leader.”

As soon as that is said, he feels it.

He feels _her_.

△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△

As soon as she touches down on Mustafar, Rey realizes something is very, very wrong with this place.

It warps her mind, makes focusing on looking for the wayfinder through the force practically impossible. It makes her sick to her stomach and stumbling on some occasions when another vision and another sound of a man burning alive fills her ears.

He’s screaming, _“Help me!”_ into the lava and no one can hear. That breaks her into tiny pieces and tears won’t stop pouring down her cheeks as she sneaks around and searches the woods for the wayfinder. This place is desolate so far, and she has seen no one to fight. Her lightsaber remains out to play.

Chewie comes over comms, “First Order just landed. Be careful, I had to fly out of orbit.”

“Thanks. I’ll find it.” She believes in herself enough, if only she could focus. The Jedi of the past could help her.

Palpatine does instead, sinking into her head with a, _“You’re close, my girl.”_

“Get out of my head.”

_“Why would I? Find the wayfinder, become who I meant you to be.”_

Rey swings her saber at a tree, swearing she sees something pop out from behind it in the corner of her eye. Nothing is there, and she clutches her head, sinking to the ground with tears flowing down her face and weak sobs leaving her mouth. This place is full of so much despair that she can’t cope.

Struggling to center herself, she takes deep and cleansing breaths while getting up off the ground and closing her fists at her sides. Trudging on, she ignores the voices and the things telling her to **_kill, kill, kill._**

If the darkness tries to own her, she will own the darkness. It grows in her heart and she lets it spread like a seed, lets it flow to the tips of her fingers as she bends to touch the ground and gasp.

She feels something that she did not expect to feel.

She feels **him**.

△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△

Kylo hunts for her like a beast with a piece of prey.

He can sense her, feel her in his bones and head, but he can’t find her. His Knights don’t even follow him, not understanding the sudden obsession of finding the girl. She’s not just any girl, he rationalizes.

She’s an important enemy that would be better off dead.

Or ruling by his side. 

Surely, she’d be smart enough to pick that option, her psyche is cracking apart based on what he can feel through the force. Kylo wishes he could sniff her out, but he still does his looking for the wayfinder.

That gets dicey rather quickly when they get close to it and warriors are crawling the area of forest the First Order wanders into. No doubt here by the Emperor’s design to protect the wayfinder from falling into unworthy clutches. 

The Knights and the troopers disperse out of seeking formation and that’s when he sees Rey.

Only it’s not her. She’s robed in black, wielding a double-bladed saber. The dress beneath the robes is tight and black, with mesh cutting across her stomach to reveal her skin. Her eyes glow red, hood resting on the crown of her head.

Kylo is shaken and foolish, so he takes a step towards the force vision, then unleashing his lightsaber and then running at her. The vision fights back, blocking his swing with her own saber and shoving him back on his ass. 

She hisses, fangs protruding from her mouth, _“You’ll never be strong like me. I’ll kill you, Kylo Ren.”_

Then she disappears like a ghost and he’s thrown into the chaos of battle upon noticing his surroundings, his Knights fighting off warriors and a few men running straight for him on the ground. He jumps up, getting into a quick fighting stance.

Plunging his saber into one, he uses the force to grab another by the neck to bash him into a tree. He thrashes him against the tree so hard that the warrior’s mask cracks, revealing a gaunt and pale face. Kylo doesn’t focus on it for long before he throws him across the woods, making sure he hits a tree. Then he swings his saber and decapitates another warrior, head rolling away from him as the body drops. 

Kylo breaks into a run and he sees a flash of blue in his periphery, looking over.

Rey is running fifty feet away from him and is being followed by warriors. She’s cutting some down that get too close but he runs at her, avoiding trees. The wayfinder is close, but she is closer, and his animalistic tendencies take over.

Rey notices him as he closes in and she looks terrified, tears streaking down her face. Only they’re not normal tears. They’re the blackened red of blood, and he slows down as she hyperventilates, face straining as she clutches at her head.

“You’re not real, you’re not real-” She says it like a mantra, a futile prayer. Kylo stops, then looking at the warriors about thirty feet back from her. Is he about to protect the enemy?

Rey wipes the blood across her face as she struggles to get out her lightsaber, and he charges the warriors head-on to fight. She follows and fights clumsily, but still kills. Blood still runs down her face and when all the warriors are gone and no more run after them, she collapses into a heap on the ground.

He gets on his knees, rolling her body onto her back as she starts to convulse and shake. That makes his next actions speed up, looking around for anyone to take her back to his ship. She’s not dying, is she? No, he would feel something if she were dying, and the only thing in her brain is a loop of what he saw in the forest before.

Of a dark girl with no hope left.

△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△

Rey doesn’t know when everything goes to shit.

All she knows is that Kylo Ren isn’t killing her, but he’s sitting over her with his mask on and putting his hands under her head as she convulses from the electric-like currents that run through her body. 

“Breathe for me.”

She can’t, flashes of hell and flashes of the dark taking up her vision. A burning temple, a scared boy, Snoke, a spiney throne, a snow-capped wasteland, and a ship blowing up mid-air and falling into pieces on top of the sand.

A little girl with three buns screaming while Unkar Plutt tugs on her. Rey begins to choke at that and Kylo speaks, “Let the dark take you, Rey.”

She reaches blindly for him and begs, “Help me.” She sobs, more blood smearing down her face. 

He doesn’t touch her as she wants. “The voices aren’t real, Rey.” They’re not real, he’s right. She can take a breath if she keeps thinking that on a loop, and she wills the visions away.

“They have no power, but these dark urges,” he pauses and then settles a hand on her clothed stomach, “Are not something you can push down forever.” Her vision comes back slowly, and she looks at the fiery moonlit sky.

“Why am I not dead?”

His answer is truthful, the force tells her so, “I don’t know. I think I’d miss you.” Rey swallows down vomit and her head feels rung like a bell at that. 

“But I have to capture you. And whoever brought you here.” Rey is very careful with her face and thoughts, but worry for Chewie still affects her heart like an insidious seed. 

“I am alone.”

Kylo shakes his head and red stormtroopers come into view. She’s never seen red ones before, and Kylo picks her up off the ground. Binders slap around her wrists and he sets her on her feet.

Rey feels woozy but stands. Kuruk walks over, “We found a chest, Supreme Leader.” 

Then he looks at Rey, “And you found the little Jedi you’ve been seeking. What a good haul.” 

Upon recognizing someone in a very old vision that she seldom thinks about, Rey does something bold: she spits at him. 

Kuruk points his blaster at her but Kylo gets between them without a word. That’s unprecedented. “She’s mine to kill if I choose. Show me to this chest.”

He then turns to look back at Rey, the mask cold and unfeeling. “You go first. I’ll catch you if you fall backward.” Rey glares at him before stepping past him and beginning to walk despite her dizzy head. 

They reach a stone chest eventually with the Sith symbol carved into it, and Kylo kicks the lid off, stone cracking and crumbling when it hits the ground. He picks up the wayfinder, lifting it out of the rock and testing the weight in his hand. The wayfinder is green glass with moving dots on it, and Rey stares at it.

He does too until he puts it in a bag on his hip, wordless. Rey sneers, “What now?”

Kylo walks past her, “Wash her face and check her for wounds. I’ll interrogate her when we arrive back at the Star Destroyer.”

She glares still as he walks away from her.

Then it sets in just how fucked she is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year! let's fix tros shall we? this chapter got kinda dark and i love it. leave a comment, those are pretty sweet. thoughts and feelings are welcome @ [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah) and [tumblr](https://dankobah.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> chapter title is inspired by ["control" by halsey](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so8V5dAli-Q)


	4. i'm out of my head and i know that you're scared

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Do I make myself clear?”
> 
> Kylo coughs, “Crystal.” A plan is already concocting in his head. 
> 
> **“Now go forth and find her.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags  
> palpatine  
> interrogation room antics  
> medical talk

She’s being taken as a prisoner.

An honored one, esteemed and fearsome, but still a prisoner. They washed her face with a hose, spraying her straight in the eyes with the cold water that makes her shiver. Then they wrapped her up in a blanket to counteract the shivering after a med droid checked her entire exposed body for wounds.

There are a couple of scrapes and bruises from training, but she’s unscathed. She just feels electrocuted, sapped of energy and not ready to sit upright on an interrogation rack for hours. She’s still strapped down, standing up and laying her head back against the headrest. 

She waits, for god knows how long, for him. Maybe he won’t even show up, maybe he’s forgotten about her. Either way, she waits.

She waits as troopers come in and out to check on her, and Rey contemplates repeating what got her out the first time she found herself in Kylo Ren’s interrogation chambers. Hell, she could steal a TIE and get off the ship, but she feels weak in the force. It’s almost like it has sapped all her power in opt to keep the currents of electricity in her body going. The currents burn pathways up her nerve-endings and the pain has become a dull ache in her joints. She’s never felt this way before.

The door opens, and he enters. His mask is off this time, hair artfully framed around his face and perfectly groomed brows. He’s holding the Wayfinder in his hand, setting it down on a pedestal in front of her. Rey stares at it, at the blinking dots. The door shuts, leaving them alone.

She doesn’t speak as she stands there, uncomfortable as can be. Then he unclips her lightsaber from his belt, setting it next to the Wayfinder and speaking, “Your force signature scares me.”

The open way he says it makes her stomach turn on top of sparks flying in her blood. “It’s very unbalanced-”

“You’re one to talk.” Her eyes shut at that moment and she takes a deep breath, weary. Life feels sapped out of her. He reaches out with a gloved hand, touching her chin. She tries to jerk her head away, but he’s unnaturally gentle as he holds her. 

“I have a proposition for you. I want you to think hard about it, given you don’t have many other options.” Rey snorts, and she opens her eyes to gaze at him.

“I want medical attention.”

“The med droid said your vitals were fine-”

“You and I both know that I am not fine.” She then glares at him and he nods.

“Perhaps you aren’t. Listen to my proposition and I will get you medical care from a real doctor.” This bartering for what feels like her life frustrates her to no end and she huffs. 

Kylo continues, letting go of her chin. “Train beneath me, let me teach you avenues of the force you never thought existed. Rule by my side.”

The voice of Palpatine comes back into her head, biting, _“He’s weak.”_ Rey grits her teeth, and he watches her, nearly studies her.

“I’d rather keep you around than kill you. We’re bonded, you and I.” She knows they’re bonded, Leia didn’t beat around the bush with that one. Luke had never explained why she kept connecting to Kylo Ren but Leia did in only so many words.

_“You two are equals in the Force, but both unbalanced. That is why you are connected, to meet in the middle.”_

Can she truly meet in the middle with him? After all he’s done? Killing his father, ordering an attack on villagers in Jakku, being the leader of a political organization she doesn’t believe in? She has no other choice. “What if I refuse?”

His answer is simple, “Then you remain a prisoner of the First Order. I’m giving you freedom, Rey. A place to be who you’re meant to be.”

She accuses, “You want to work with the Emperor.”

He shakes his head and that shocks her, “I want to kill him, or whoever is impersonating him.” The Wayfinder vibrates in response to that, glowing red. Rey stares at it before glancing back to him.

He seems unphased by it while it curdles her blood. Rey gulps and whispers, “So do I.”

“I’m glad we’re in agreement. I head for Exegol in a few galactic standard hours to speak with him.” She perks.

“You are not coming.” Outrage plays across her features.

She snaps, “You can’t kill him alone.” 

Palpatine whispers in her cerebrum, _“What is dead may never die._ ”

“I’m not killing, I’m negotiating.”

“I thought you were killing him?”

He snaps, “I’d like to figure some banthashit out before I kill him.”

She rolls her eyes and his glare pierces her flesh with a barb that won’t unhook from her skin no matter how hard she tugs with the force. “You? Negotiating?”

“I’m leaving you here in the meantime. It shouldn’t take long.” Rey wants to cross her arms over her chest and pout, but that seems too childish for something so dire. Also, she can’t, strapped down like some brutal holo porn she’s accidentally stumbled upon once.

“What are you negotiating for?”

“Those are secrets.”

She scowls at him and he crosses his arms over his chest. “Anything you’d like to say before I leave?”

She shakes her head, still staring him down. Then she speaks, “Besides that, I hope you die by his hand so I don’t have to kill you later.” 

“Dying by his hand doesn’t bode well for you, little Jedi.”

△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△

He puts her on the ultimate lockdown before he leaves, not wanting to allow her to escape as she has before.

Rey has escaped his grasp so much, like the sand she simultaneously loathes and loves running through his fingertips. He’s tempted to let his lips ghost over hers as she lays against the rack, refusing to speak to him or let her into his head after his reminder that her death was far more likely if he ended up dying. 

Their bond, illuminated to be a dyad from the countless of hours of research into force mythology. That had made him step back in a daze from the book, ears ringing with the realization that a dyad cannot be broken.

He’s stuck with Rey forever. He’s fine with that, he thinks, but why isn’t she? Why does she still futilely resist it when they both know that they belong in each other’s spheres? How Kylo wants her differs from how she wants herself, and he knows deep down he needs to respect her convictions.

But her convictions are still wrong. Her assessment of the dark is wrong, the dark being a beautiful place to live. If only she would understand that giving in to the urges would be easier. His mother would probably break if Rey fell like him. He wants his mother to break; he wants the war to crack in two and for a definite winner in the form of the First Order rise. 

Kylo will convince her, this time will be the lucky time. Then he will take her for a wife and rule alongside her as the most powerful force users in the galaxy. It’s such a pretty dream that it’s easy to forget the complexities that such a thing would require; like Rey liking him.

He contemplates this as he flies to the snowy and desolate planet of Exegol, out in the tricky unknown regions that require bobs and weaves in between asteroids and space debris. His father used to take him through meteor fields, letting six-year-old Ben steer the ship as Han laughed up a storm that rivals the dust storms on Tatooine.

He doesn’t want to think about his father and luckily, the planet of Exegol comes into view. It seems permanently tinted blue and cold, the opposite of the lava and fire you’d associate with the Sith. He lands the ship on what seems to be a designated landing area, a thick sheet of rock that leads into a large cave.

Landing is easy, getting the courage to get out is not. He breathes hard, thinking of all the possibilities. He could die, but by god, he’ll die fighting. He’s born with fighting blood and a supposedly dead emperor won’t fuck that up.

He gets out of the cockpit of the ship and ignites his saber, striding towards the opening. His walk is brisk, feet carrying him forward despite the apprehension that burns hot and fast in his blood. Plenty of scenarios run through his head: slaying the beast, bartering with the monster, or befriending the apparition that is Emperor Palpatine.

He steps onto a platform that moves down into the depths. A voice echoes, “At last.” Looking around, his blood now chills to pure ice, splintering into fragments as he swallows.

“Snoke trained you well.” Kylo steps off the moving platform, then walking through the long alleyway in between two large structures, spanning high up to the ceiling and making his head spin. He keeps stepping slowly, being cautious about his surroundings and prepared for anyone to jump out and kill.

Palpatine mocks him for this, “Snoke trained you well.”

Kylo snaps, “I killed Snoke. I’ll make sure you die just as fast.” 

Palpatine clicks his tongue, like chastising a child. “My boy, I made Snoke. I have been every voice that you have ever heard inside your miserable little head.” As he speaks, his voice morphs from his to Snoke’s, to Vader, and then to _Rey_. The last one chills his blood the most, and his palms sweat inside his gloves. The air smells stale here, crisp and cold when it hits his lungs, unsettling him and making him feel as if he can’t breathe.

“About the girl-”

“The Jedi is none of your concern.” He can tell that he is close based on the thrum of the other force signature in the area.

Palpatine laughs and Kylo whirls around at the source of the sound, seeing what looks like a rack with a decrepit body. Palpatine is only a shell of his former self, and Kylo holds up the saber to him. “She is. I want her powers for a reason. The harnessing of one half of a dyad-”

Kylo keeps his saber held up as he stares at him. How the hell does he know what they have? “Dyad?”

“Are you stupid, my boy? Did you think the bond you share with her is some kind of secret? Your head is loud, unbalanced, it practically screams for her-” Kylo lunges and lightning strikes his body, sending him flying against a rock. His spine nearly cracks, he feels it rattle in his body before he hops up and tries to grab for his saber again.

Palpatine pulls it away from him and an invisible hand wraps around his throat and squeezes, lifting him up in the air and choking the life out of him as Palpatine stares with a Gungan-like gaze. “You will bring me the Jedi when you get her.” Kylo keeps his thoughts very neutral at that moment, given that he already has her. He nods weakly and Palpatine drops him, nearly throwing him again as he does. 

“Do I make myself clear?”

Kylo coughs, “Crystal.” A plan is already concocting in his head. 

“Now go forth and find her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been awhile. truly actually believe no one reads this so i put it on the back burner. sorry. thoughts and feelings are welcome @ [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah) and [tumblr](https://dankobah.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> chapter title is inspired by ["golden" by harry styles](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5W5CI9DxZr8)


	5. be still for a while

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What is your decision?”
> 
> She plays dumb. “For what?”
> 
> The way his jaw sets melts something inside of her into a puddle of rich chocolate, a delicacy she had only this last year. It’s a creamy sort of melt, maintaining a thick viscosity that settles deep in the belly in layers upon layers. 
> 
> **“Will you join me?”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tags   
> rey is a prisoner of war (she’s not really mistreated by Kylo, more a dick stormtrooper)  
> leia shows up for a few minutes  
> rey has to make a choice

Time passes differently on a rack. 

With the ache in her bones and the way her skin flames and cools, she feels as if she’s going to die. Of course, that’s a little dramatic; but as her head droops and her eyes get heavy, legs struggling to buckle to let her finally rest, she realizes then that maybe something isn’t right.

She’s not supposed to be here, she’s supposed to be with the Resistance. She needed to kill Kylo Ren, not fight alongside him. She tries to focus on the door, seeing it slowly start to tilt and lean in her vision. 

Then a stormtrooper comes through it, once every fifteen minutes according to the orders she saw floating around Kylo’s head.

She croaks, “I need medical attention.” 

The trooper ignores her and she’s seething, “Hey bucket-fuck, I need a doctor.” 

The trooper looks over at that and steps up to her, holding up his stun baton. He turns it on and holds it close to her body. Rey, despite her weakened state, isn’t afraid of some shit stormtrooper with a big ego because he’s watching the Jedi on board. 

“Don’t make me use this, Jedi scum.” 

Way to prove her preconceived notions. Rey summons all the strength inside her, sapped away from Mustafar’s personalized force signature below. The planet reeks darkness like an infected and pus-filled wound, pushing forward its ideals on the unsuspecting or weak. Mustafar is telling her to give in, to kill the trooper.

Light force users strong in their convictions struggle on Mustafar. She’s cocky for thinking she, the girl barely trained in comparison to the people who want her dead, could resist the pull. Inhaling deep, the force signature changes suddenly, large enough for her to detect in her weakened state.

It’s sharper, worried. The door opens and Kylo storms in, looking at the trooper, “Out.” He’s not wearing a mask, and he’s still bloody and spattered in mud from Mustafar. The trooper leaves immediately, not wanting to envoke the wrath of the mighty Supreme Leader.

“Even while weakened, you mock me.” Rey snorts and the binders click off her wrists but not her ankles, and she immediately goes to scratch the itch that’s been building at the base of her throat for an hour now.

“What is your decision?”

She plays dumb. “For what?”

The way his jaw sets melts something inside of her into a puddle of rich chocolate, a delicacy she had only this last year. It’s a creamy sort of melt, maintaining a thick viscosity that settles deep in the belly in layers upon layers. 

“Will you join me?”

This is the thing her thoughts were avoiding, the visions of sitting on the throne of the Sith. The vision of killing her friends, of harming innocents caught in the crossfire. She gulps, shutting her eyes tight while shaking her head and trying to sift his. His mind is locked up and she’s too weak, her poking and prodding doing nothing in the grand scheme of things. 

“Rey, I-”

Her eyes open and she looks shocked, stepping back quickly and reaching for his saber. A warmth floods her body, something crackling deep in her marrow. 

Palpatine bids,  _ “Destroy him _ .” 

Shaking that out of her cerebrum, “What? What’s wrong?”

She blinks, and his face tightens up. “Blink again.”

She does as he bids. Then he says, “Your eyes looked red. Like the girl in the forest-”

This perplexes Rey because he couldn’t be possibly talking about the same vision she had on Mustafar; of the girl cloaked in black, double-bladed saber in her grip, and fangs for teeth. “The girl in the forest?”

“She was you but she wasn’t you.” 

So they had a shared vision. This isn’t rare for a bond like theirs, she’d gather. The thought still makes her insides curl up and die. His seeing her so dark probably did nothing but get him hard now that she reflects.

“Actually, she told me she’d kill me essentially. That’s a...yeah, anyways, I’m not attracted to you.”

Rey rolls her eyes, “I’m not to you either.” That’s bullshit, just like his barb is lies as well. They both find each other aesthetically pleasing, his looming size sending a hot burst of blood down there. His lie meant to fuck with her and she can play that game too.

He refocuses on her, then setting his hands on his hips. “I’ll have you moved to a cell and seen by a doctor.”

At least he’s giving her that and she nods to herself. 

At least she’ll have a chance at living.

△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△

They do plenty of tests on Rey, and he makes the executive decision to get the fuck away from Mustafar while they do. 

The Supremacy moves as fast as it can as he swings at the holo droid, twirling his saber on the wind-ups. His mind is too full and his stomach tossing and turning with each slash and cut, every time he defeats the holo droid and it vanishes out of existence to just blink back in for another round. He trains endlessly sometimes when things are on his mind. 

He’s interrupted by an officer, his saber swinging towards them. They look unphased, “Supreme Leader, the doctor is finished with their tests and there seem to be no physical abnormalities or illnesses. In fact, the girl is completely healthy besides dehydration.”

Weren’t the troopers giving her water? He’ll have to check the cameras. Otherwise, he looks at the officer before saying, “Good. Send the order to hook her to fluids.” He needs her strong and alive.

Why?

Because eventually, she’ll agree.

△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△△

The ship is silent at night.

Rey’s cell is a small room, with bars for doors. She supposes this will probably be the rest of her life and she sits in a ball in the corner of her bed. The sheets seem too soft for a prisoner, along with the large container of water. Her fluids are done, they sedated her for the process because she was threatening to rip out the IVs.

She’s been nauseous since they threw her in here. She’s cold, shivering beneath the blankets she’s gratefully taken. At least they won’t let her die in here.

She has hope. A fighting chance. She just needs time to figure out what that could be.

The sound evaporates from her ears then, breath filling her ears. It’s meditative, pondering.

It’s  _ Leia _ .

Leia appears across the tiny cell, cross-legged and clearly meditating to get herself into such a deep and specific part of the ship.

Leia asks, “Rey?”

Rey sits up quickly and sighs in relief. “Leia, it’s so good to see you. Is everything okay? Is Chewie alright?”

Leia nods quickly, eyes staying shut. Sometimes when the Jedi is trying to bond with someone far away, to conserve energy, they stay in the same meditative position. Leia must be weak today, having been sick this past year.

It’s a private matter that Rey hasn’t gotten her head around. “Rey, I don’t know what my son has offered you-”

Rey interrupts, “He offered me a place to rule beside him.”

Leia sniffles, before rubbing at her shut eyes. She’s never seen the woman cry before and Leia shocks her, “Rey, to survive, to bring my son home, you need to go with him.”

Rey begins to shake her head, “Leia, I’m fine staying in prison until the war is won-”

“No, Rey. There are things I don’t even understand with a dyad and this is one of them. The only opportunity he has at balance is to be with his other half. He’s never known peace and he needs to now.”

Tears prick Rey’s eyes and she tries to contain a sob.

“The Resistance will think I’m a traitor.” 

Leia whispers, “You’re captured with no other choice. Most will understand that.”

Rey opens her mouth but there’s a spike in the force that takes her breath away.  **Kylo.**

Leia senses this too, eyes flashing open to get a glimpse of her son. Rey whispers urgently, “You need to go.” Hearing boots down the hall, they speed up and Leia vanishes without a trace. Rey dives back underneath the covers, pulling them over her head as the cell door opens. 

Kylo snaps, “Where is she?” 

Rey says from beneath her safety, “Who?”

His breaths are measured and he growls under one. “My mother.” 

She asks, “Are you sure you’re not losing it?” 

Kylo rips the blanket off of her and she feels something push against her mind. She shouts, “No!” 

The intrusion stops and she breathes in sharply.

Then she takes the final leap into the abyss she’s found herself in.

“I’ll join you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it’s been awhile, i promise i will continue this if anyone is actually reading this. laying out this plot has just killed my inspiration for this one so im trying to give myself a break. thoughts and feelings welcome at [twitter](https://twitter.com/dankobah)
> 
> chapter title is inspired by [”beside you” by mariana’s trench](https://open.spotify.com/track/0YBXY9xG4L6I0yWAUaV99I?si=T_4ioiDlS4eRsyfsi_fvEg)


End file.
